Love Lies Bleeding: A short story (Maeve Kerrigan) by Jane Casey

Author:Jane Casey [Casey, Jane]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2019-06-27T23:00:00+00:00

IV

I put music on when I got home: the most cheerful, bass-heavy music I could find. It was loud enough to vibrate the glass in the windows but the neighbours didn’t complain. Maybe they were used to it. Maybe that was how Derwent had drowned out the noises he couldn’t forget. I sang in the shower and stayed in it for much longer than normal, knowing I was hiding. Eventually I got out and pulled on comfort clothing: a giant sweatshirt and leggings. I made an omelette and concentrated on it so hard I managed not to burn it or leave it runny in the middle. I grabbed a bag of salad from the fridge and poured myself a glass of wine. My plan was a night in front of the TV and then bed, and a good night’s sleep, just as if I’d had a normal day at work.

I headed to the sitting room with the plate in one hand, my glass in the other and the corner of the bag of salad gripped between my teeth, and of the three things I carried it was, inevitably, the wine I dropped when I saw Derwent sitting on the sofa.

‘What the fuck?’ I said when I had put everything else down. ‘Did you let yourself in?’

He nodded and I felt my mood swerve towards dangerous.

‘You can’t do that, you know. You can’t just walk in here even if you do have keys.’

‘Then you should put the chain on.’

‘I shouldn’t have to. What are you doing here?’

‘Welfare check.’

‘What?’

‘I wanted to make sure you were okay. After today.’

‘Hold on.’ I went to get a tea towel for the wine that was soaking into the carpet. When I came back, I snapped off the music. The silence was loud. ‘I’m fine. Or I was.’

‘Sorry.’ He watched me scrub the carpet.

‘Are you all right?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Really?’ I sat back on my heels. ‘Because you’re watching me do a shitty job of cleaning this up and you haven’t said anything.’

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then, after I’d given up expecting him to answer: ‘I can’t stop thinking about it.’

‘I know.’

‘He said he didn’t want to live without her. He said there was no point if she was gone. He loved her so much.’

‘Did it remind you of Melissa?’ I asked tentatively, and got a glare in return.

‘No. Of course not.’

He got to his feet and prowled around the room, back and forth. There was something about the way he moved that was a little off.

‘Did you go to the pub after work?’

‘Just for a few.’ He stopped to rub his face with his hands, his back turned to me and I watched him sway.

Oh God. A lot more than a few, I guessed. I’d thought the smell of alcohol was from the wine I’d spilled. I stood up, edging towards my bag. ‘Listen, why don’t you head home? I can get you a cab.’

‘I don’t want to go home.’

‘Why not?’

‘I don’t want to take this home.

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